Thursday, May 11, 2017

Why I'm A Terrible Friend

Because I have child...
I'm a first time mom...

Those are valid excuses right? 

If you agree then you are probably a mom/dad/understanding person. If you disagree than you might not be one of those. Before I became a mom, I'll be honest I probably wouldn't have understood. 
 Before you become a parent your mind is pretty free. Not saying people who don't have children have nothing to think about but when you become a parent your mind is filled with so many things, all at once. Which is something I did not expect at all. All of your thoughts are meeting your child's needs. Before anything and anyone else. 

So to all of my friends/family, I apologize. I know I can be a crappy friend/daughter/sister/aunt...etc. But my child and husband come first, even before me. So my thoughts aren't always about others. Which I know sounds completely terrible. But I'm still learning how to juggle mom life. 

Should I even make an excuse for being a crappy friend? No. I really don't need to explain why or how I've changed since I've become a mom. But I wanted to because I know there are some soon to be moms/new moms out there that will go through this. And I'm here to tell you, it's okay to feel like you are a crappy friend.  Your friends and family WILL understand and even if they don't, they will do their best to. And I wish someone told me how this part of my life would change. 

For example, if I haven't reached out to you in months, it's not that I don't think about you. Because I can promise you I do think about all of my close friends but the moment I go to send a text, my daughter needs me and I completely forget who I was about to reach out to. Sounds silly but I really don't like being on my phone (except to take cute pictures and videos of her) when I'm with her just because I always want her to have my full attention. And she usually will yell and act up if she sees me on my phone. So if I haven't gotten back to you, she's why. 

Sometimes I make plans with friends. But sometimes I have to cancel. If I ever cancel plans, it's not because I want to or just don't feel like it, it's because she's having an off day and it's more important to meet her needs than to stress her out by taking her somewhere. 

And sometimes, I just want to spend time with just her. Selfish? Maybe. But these days fly by and she is growing right before my eyes so I just always want to be with her. 

They say having a baby changes everything, but don't let it change you.
Well yes, having a baby changes everything.
And becoming a mom DOES change who you are. And there isn't anything wrong with that. Don't let people stress you out by saying "Oh well you've changed since you had your daughter/son" and just tell them, yes I have changed. Because I am a mom now.
Don't worry, these changes are all positive, hard at times. But worth everything.  
It's something that has taking me a lot of time to come to terms with. 
I have a lot of good friends in my life that are always there for me and I can't say enough how much I appreciate them.


"Find your tribe, love them hard"