Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Why I Never Will Let My Children "Cry It Out"

Before I get to much into this post, I just want to say it isn't meant to bash anyone. Everyone  has their own view on parenting and that's okay. If you have used the cry it out method, I don't think badly of you. 

But I will never let Ellie or any of my other babies CIO aka "Cry it out". There is just something inside of me that makes me feel uneasy about it. Ever since Ellie was born, I would tend to her needs before she full on hard cried. Of course there were some trying times when nothing seemed to help her. But I never once thought of putting her down, and walking away...

There is a lot out there on how to sleep train you baby, and even doctors suggest letting babies cry it out...are you kidding me?! 
Put yourself in your baby's position once. You can't talk, stand up, and basically can just lay there. The one person who you look to most for your needs sets you down in a dark room, and leaves you there. So your natural instinct is to cry because you know they will come.
But no one comes.
You are left there in the dark room, crying out because you just need that comfort. 
You cry and cry and maybe minutes go by or hours do. Soon you just stop. Not because you have learned to self soothe, but because no-one is coming for you. And you realize what is even the point of crying. Do you want comfort and search for that when something is upsetting to you. And you're an adult. So why would we try and "teach" our babies to just cry and cry and no one will help? It really doesn't make sense to me. 

Babies don't cry just because. There is ALWAYS a reason. Babies have needs. They need to be cared for, loved, and most of all they need to feel safe. Isn't that we as adults need as well? Why would it be okay to make babies feel unsafe? Especially by their parents. 

There is a lot I have read and a lot of research that has gone into letting babies cry it out. It makes them stressed and can actually effect how they develop. I'm not going to go into all that scientific stuff, because I'm just stating my feelings on the topic. But articles I find just upset me. The more I hear about babies left to cry it out. My heart just breaks. 

Being a first time mom. It is hard. And I will tell anyone that. Because no matter what you do, SOMEONE will tell you, you are wrong. So I'll repeat myself, if you use or have used the cry it out method, I don't think you're a bad mom.  You do what you feel is best. It may be differently than how I feel and that's okay. 
I want Ellie and my future children to always know that I'll be there. No matter what. 
If they need me to help them go to sleep...I'll be there. 
They wake up in the middle of the night in pain, sick, or just need comfort...I'll be there. 
A thunderstorm scares them awake...I'll be there. 
They have a scary dream...I'll be there. 
Or they just want to feel close and safe...

I'll always be there. Day or night. They can run to me for anything. And I never want my children to be afraid at night and even more afraid to either cry out for me or come to me. 
Because I know one day will come, faster than I can imagine. And I won't be needed. So I'll take in all the extra cuddles, bedtime lullabies that have to sing on repeat, and nighttime wake up calls for as long as they need. 

Children may not always remember what you say...but they'll always remember how you made them feel. 

She's cute even when she's upset...but my heart breaks everytime she cries. So I do everything I possibly can to always make her happy. 


This post is just stating my feelings on something that weighs on my heart. My husband and I have chosen what is best for our daughter. If you think differently. Awesome. 
Do I want to know you think differently?

Please keep any negative comments or thoughts to yourself.