Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Thoughts About Pregnancy (4-12 weeks)

During the first two months when we were keeping this a secret. I was filled with so many thoughts, so I figured I would write about it. And maybe post later on. I'm seriously so glad I did this because even a month ago, is already a big blur to me. This is one post I wrote during the first month that I wanted to share. 

So this post is about my current/past thoughts about pregnancy  Most likely as I type this I'll probably feel emotional because I can't control my emotions right now. But pregnancy to me is very emotional journey. You are filled with excitement, joy, happiness, worried, fears, and anxious ALL at once. Hormones play a big role but I feel like just knowing you will have a baby in about 9 months is a lot to take in. 

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked. Followed by happiness and excitement. Then the fears and worries set in. Which I think is completely normal. My entire life I have always wanted to be a mom. Seeing my older brothers have their own children always reminded me that one day I would have my own. My first neice was born when I was only 5 years old, but the first moment I held her I just loved babies. With each niece and nephew that came along throughout the years my love for children only grew. Everyone in my family knew how much I wanted my own, so now that my turn has finally come. I just feel beyond blessed. Everyday, multiple times a day I pray for this baby and I know God has his protective hand over me and my baby. When my fears set in, I just pray. Because when it comes down to it, I just have to trust God.

I'm still early on, and with dealing with days that I don't feel well I just pray for better days and focus on the day where I finally have a little bundle of joy in my arms.
My husband is my biggest supporter. I take all of my fears to him and he always knows what to say to help calm me down. He will even get me what I ask that I want to eat, without asking..or judging. I just know he's going to be such an amazing father. And seeing the excitement on his face when we talk about the baby is just heart melting. 

 I wrote weekly posts for weeks 4-11, but I have decided I'm not going to make them public. Only because they are more for me to reference back to when we decide to have a second baby(which will be years from now, so please don't ask!) And also, I really didn't experience to much early on. Except for being pretty sick and exhausted. I know pregnancy isn't a glamourous thing, and I definitely haven't had it easy. But reading week after week that I have only been sick and tired isn't to fun. So I'll spare you those details and I will have weekly updates starting with 12 weeks. 

Stay tuned for my first weekly pregnancy document...and maybe a little baby bump!