Thursday, March 6, 2014

I'm FINALLY Living Life

I know it has been awhile since I did a blog post just about me and my health and what has been going on. So I figured it was about time too. 

I know when I did a post about being gluten free for a year, and how it has helped me feel better there was still a lot of things going on that needed to get better. So looking back I reread that post, you can read it here. When I did that post I reached a lot of major milestones in my book. But I still had a lot to go. One thing that stuck out to me in that post was this phrase I posted I have missed out on a lot because of feeling so sick all the time. I was tired of just not feeling healthy. So after that day, I decided that I was going to cut out gluten completely. 

All I can say is wow. For the past few years, I've missed out on life because I was so consumed in feeling sick and worrying that if I left my house, I'd have an episode. I was in constant fear of ruining outings because I just never knew. How did I live like that? I didn't realize that something we consume everyday, can impact a life negatively. And make you miss out on living. I've missed countless birthday parties, family gatherings, dates with Caleb, and just living like a normal person. I have feared eating out for many years because as soon as I would eat, I would have to leave ASAP. Eating wasn't enjoyable for me. I dreaded eating because I knew that eating would just make me feel awful all over again. Before I get ahead of myself. I'll list some major milestones that I have crossed off and some surprising changes in my health that have happened since my one year anniversary being gluten free. 

A few little changes:

  • I've been able to eat three full meals a day. Without ANY issues.
  • I will actually eat on my lunch break at work, without any worry. 
  • I rarely have a mood swing these. If I do, it's caused by stress, monthly, or if I'm worn out...or hungry. Yes I have finally experienced being grumpy because I'm so hungry. Can't really say if that's a good or bad thing! ;)
  • I have had a little more energy than I used to. This is still a work in progress though. But I am up for doing more things. 
  • I'm not scared to eat, I actually look forward to it. 

Now, I have had some amazing things happen that others close to me have noticed:

Caleb and I planned a day to shop at the outlets last fall, after walking around for a good 45-to an hour we buy drinks and take a break and he says to me, "Do you know what I just realized?" And of course I say, "No" He says, "You just walked around after just eating breakfast an hour ago!" 
You see this has been something I haven't been able to do. Being able to eat, get ready, and go somewhere seem so simple and it's what most people do everyday. But me, not so much. That was a big milestone for me. I've always wanted to be able to eat a meal, and go shopping. The "normal" activities. Of course after that I still had times when I couldn't do that. But a few times, is better than none.
Slowly, I could do more and more right after eating. With eliminating gluten, dairy, and all processed foods I have been able to slowly heal my stomach and control the Candida. It's been a lot of ups and downs. But they all brought me to this next point: 

Just this past Saturday, March 1st 2014. Was a big day in many ways. I had my first appointment trying on wedding gowns. Excited would have been an understatement to describe how I felt. But my appointment was at 9:30 in the morning. Super early. Now, if it was two years ago. Eating would not have been a thought on my mind, considering I would be standing, moving around a lot. But now, it's my first thought because I'm more hungry now. So of course I ate breakfast which consisted of coffee, a banana, toast, and an egg. (You'd think I eat lighter with trying on gowns, but nope) 
But I ate just 15 min before we left....
I would have never done something like that just because in fear I'd feel sick and ruin the day. Well guess what, I felt completely fine...Half way through the appointment I started to get hungry! I could have been so distracted by all the pretty dresses and just the emotion of the day. But still, this is my biggest accomplishment, well I should say my stomach's biggest accomplishment in YEARS. 

I know this post may not be as exciting to you as it is to me. But if you have been following along, you will know that I've struggled a lot with just normal daily things because of my health.
My point is, I could have missed out on an important day that I shared with my mom, soon-to-be mom in law, and my sister-in-laws. 
More importantly, I'm tired of missing out on life. Taking charge of my health was one of the best decisions I made just for myself. I woke up one day and I was tired of struggling with life. It's been stressful at times and I'll admit, I didn't always see that light at the end of the tunnel. But with the support I have had, I kept going. If you told me a year ago that I'd be able to feel like a normal healthy person today. I probably wouldn't have believed you. I hung onto faith that there was a possibility it could happen. With having hope & faith, it kept me fighting. 

I still have goals that I want to achieve and I still want to feel even healthier. I have a very special day coming up that I need my health to be 110%.
And I am getting there! I'm really enjoying living life again.
If you are struggling with anything, just remember it will get better. Just keep moving forward. 


P.S. In case you were wondering, I DID find MY wedding dress. It's not my dream dress though, because it's much better than anything I dreamed of! :)