Thursday, March 6, 2014

I'm FINALLY Living Life

I know it has been awhile since I did a blog post just about me and my health and what has been going on. So I figured it was about time too. 

I know when I did a post about being gluten free for a year, and how it has helped me feel better there was still a lot of things going on that needed to get better. So looking back I reread that post, you can read it here. When I did that post I reached a lot of major milestones in my book. But I still had a lot to go. One thing that stuck out to me in that post was this phrase I posted I have missed out on a lot because of feeling so sick all the time. I was tired of just not feeling healthy. So after that day, I decided that I was going to cut out gluten completely. 

All I can say is wow. For the past few years, I've missed out on life because I was so consumed in feeling sick and worrying that if I left my house, I'd have an episode. I was in constant fear of ruining outings because I just never knew. How did I live like that? I didn't realize that something we consume everyday, can impact a life negatively. And make you miss out on living. I've missed countless birthday parties, family gatherings, dates with Caleb, and just living like a normal person. I have feared eating out for many years because as soon as I would eat, I would have to leave ASAP. Eating wasn't enjoyable for me. I dreaded eating because I knew that eating would just make me feel awful all over again. Before I get ahead of myself. I'll list some major milestones that I have crossed off and some surprising changes in my health that have happened since my one year anniversary being gluten free. 

A few little changes:

  • I've been able to eat three full meals a day. Without ANY issues.
  • I will actually eat on my lunch break at work, without any worry. 
  • I rarely have a mood swing these. If I do, it's caused by stress, monthly, or if I'm worn out...or hungry. Yes I have finally experienced being grumpy because I'm so hungry. Can't really say if that's a good or bad thing! ;)
  • I have had a little more energy than I used to. This is still a work in progress though. But I am up for doing more things. 
  • I'm not scared to eat, I actually look forward to it. 

Now, I have had some amazing things happen that others close to me have noticed:

Caleb and I planned a day to shop at the outlets last fall, after walking around for a good 45-to an hour we buy drinks and take a break and he says to me, "Do you know what I just realized?" And of course I say, "No" He says, "You just walked around after just eating breakfast an hour ago!" 
You see this has been something I haven't been able to do. Being able to eat, get ready, and go somewhere seem so simple and it's what most people do everyday. But me, not so much. That was a big milestone for me. I've always wanted to be able to eat a meal, and go shopping. The "normal" activities. Of course after that I still had times when I couldn't do that. But a few times, is better than none.
Slowly, I could do more and more right after eating. With eliminating gluten, dairy, and all processed foods I have been able to slowly heal my stomach and control the Candida. It's been a lot of ups and downs. But they all brought me to this next point: 

Just this past Saturday, March 1st 2014. Was a big day in many ways. I had my first appointment trying on wedding gowns. Excited would have been an understatement to describe how I felt. But my appointment was at 9:30 in the morning. Super early. Now, if it was two years ago. Eating would not have been a thought on my mind, considering I would be standing, moving around a lot. But now, it's my first thought because I'm more hungry now. So of course I ate breakfast which consisted of coffee, a banana, toast, and an egg. (You'd think I eat lighter with trying on gowns, but nope) 
But I ate just 15 min before we left....
I would have never done something like that just because in fear I'd feel sick and ruin the day. Well guess what, I felt completely fine...Half way through the appointment I started to get hungry! I could have been so distracted by all the pretty dresses and just the emotion of the day. But still, this is my biggest accomplishment, well I should say my stomach's biggest accomplishment in YEARS. 

I know this post may not be as exciting to you as it is to me. But if you have been following along, you will know that I've struggled a lot with just normal daily things because of my health.
My point is, I could have missed out on an important day that I shared with my mom, soon-to-be mom in law, and my sister-in-laws. 
More importantly, I'm tired of missing out on life. Taking charge of my health was one of the best decisions I made just for myself. I woke up one day and I was tired of struggling with life. It's been stressful at times and I'll admit, I didn't always see that light at the end of the tunnel. But with the support I have had, I kept going. If you told me a year ago that I'd be able to feel like a normal healthy person today. I probably wouldn't have believed you. I hung onto faith that there was a possibility it could happen. With having hope & faith, it kept me fighting. 

I still have goals that I want to achieve and I still want to feel even healthier. I have a very special day coming up that I need my health to be 110%.
And I am getting there! I'm really enjoying living life again.
If you are struggling with anything, just remember it will get better. Just keep moving forward. 

Cheers!

P.S. In case you were wondering, I DID find MY wedding dress. It's not my dream dress though, because it's much better than anything I dreamed of! :)